


Just be honest

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, During Canon, First Time, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-13
Updated: 2011-08-12
Packaged: 2018-09-03 03:49:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8695258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Sam hasn't been talking about the things that's bothering him. Dean notices, but can't do anything.. Until the day he gets a little help from God, to get the most stubborn people to open up to him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** I want to thank my BETA for helping me out with this story "Swearymary" is the one and only, love you girl.

It wasn’t usual for Dean to dream, or at least remember the dream. But this night it was different, they - Sam and him - had been hunting down a ghost that really didn’t hurt people in Dean’s dream, it just scared the crap outta the people around it. Anyway, he had woken up just as God entered the picture saying his name - and that was pretty much it.

 

So why was he breathing like he'd been running a marathon? He looked at the clock between their beds, twelve past midnight, perfect. Okay, he had to admit to himself that he had been sleeping on and off all night, and it didn’t really surprise him that he remembered the dream after the tossing and turning he had been doing.

 

That was mostly Sam’s job, not his. Dean used to lay half-awake, half-asleep during the nights, so he could protect what was his if an intruder entered the room, in case they’d forgot the salt lines for the night. Well, it didn’t happen often, maybe once a year, bit it was enough for Dean to never feel relaxed enough to sleep whole heartedly.

 

Dean shook the dream out of his system and fell back to sleep, or well, whatever you’d call it. He would probably forget the dream later, he was sure. Not only because it was a silly one, but because he had no inclination to remember. There was no meaning for it at all, so why remember it?

 

But when the sun shone in his eyes and he woke up to find the morning sun shining on his chest - Sam sitting in the chair, reading a newsletter - Dean’s first thought was about the dream. Great, now he had to wonder, should he tell Sam about it, or was it just like he thought, only a dream.

 

“You’re up. I thought you’d sleep all day, princess.” Sam said with a huff of air and Dean raised his eyebrows.

 

He was the one to call Sam princess, not vice versa. Dean stretched on the bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, okay, he had been sleeping pretty hard, which didn’t happen often. Sam was smirking from ear to ear and Dean frowned.

 

“Uhm, what happened yesterday?” He asked and his little brother lost the smile and his beautiful face became a blur of worry.

 

“What do you remember?” Sam asked as he slowly got up from the chair, walking to stand beside Dean’s bed.

 

Sam couldn't handle this again. It had happened once before — Dean under one spell or another and they end up fighting about it. His jaw ached with the thought and he had to shake his head to get the spinning of worry to stop.

 

“We where at a store, a few miles out of Chicago, hunting a demon.” Dean said and could see the worry wash away on his brother’s face,- leaving just a slight trace.

 

“And the demon, what kind, Dean?” Sam asked, needing to know his brother remembered it exactly.

 

“An Acham, the demon of pain during a sexual act.”

 

 

Sam nodded, thankful he remembered.

 

 

“Why did I ask if you remembered?” Sam asked and Dean frowned once more, rising from the bed.

 

“Because you’re all weird.” Dean said, shaking his head once, then stopping, looking at Sam with a smirk of his own. “Or well, weirder than usual”, laughing at the annoyed look on Sam’s face.

 

Dean hurried to the shower so as not to get a punch right in the face from his annoyed and pissed off little brother. Once he was in the shower, the dream reappeared in his head and worked him over, making the day clear as the sun outside the motel room.

 

Dean just laughed - no way in hell his day dreaming was gonna mean anything - but just to have a little fun, he decided to try it out later, at a perfect time.

 

 

XxXxX

 

 

Sam looked at Dean over the table at the restaurant. Dean had this smirk on his face - a smirk that meant trouble, mostly for Sam himself. Dean was planning something big and Sam wanted to know what so he could be prepared. But not being able to read minds or anything, he just had to wait and see what the hell was going on inside of Dean’s head.

 

A young girl — who looked no older than sixteen - walked up to them and asking for their order, took Sam's order of a chicken salad, and Dean's order of what sounded like the biggest sandwich on earth.

 

Bringing them their order, Sam could see that Dean was fixing his eyes on her and he shook his head, praying to God that Dean wouldn’t start flirting — she was so young.

 

'But her age isn't really the only reason', Sam thought, stubbornly as she was about to turn around — stopping in her tracks like she had forgotten something — finally facing Sam, looking him deep in the eyes, almost as deep as Sam felt like saying ‘Christo’ but didn’t.

 

“I’m willing to do whatever you want”, she purred and Sam's eyebrows arched — that was so not what he'd thought she’d say.

 

“Christo!” Sam yelped, God help him.

 

And at that, Dean laughed hard - the girl holding her hand in front of her mouth, turning around quickly and running away from them in embarrassment. Sam looked over at Dean weirdly - like he was about to get sick or something - which made Dean laugh even harder.

 

Okay, a girl — a young girl at sixteen - had fallen head over heels for him, what else could he do than pay the bill and leave?

 

 

XxXxXxX

 

 

Okay - maybe his dream had been true - maybe God had given him a few powers for a day or so, but Dean had no idea why. Maybe he should talk to Sammy about it, tell him about the dream, about

the way he discovered one of the powers. But Dean didn’t know what to say, didn’t want Sam to worry.

 

Dean wasn’t even sure it was true, maybe the girl at the restaurant had just liked Sam and said it out loud before thinking. Dean had to be stupid not to notice how Sam had affected the young girl. Her eyes had been all over him and it had been a tingle in his body then - a tingle Dean so did not want to think about too much.

 

They were driving, on the way to another hunt in another town about 120 miles away. But Dean didn’t feel like driving the whole way, he had to see if what he thought was true, and he couldn’t just drop it on Sam, Sammy was smarter than that, he’d figure it out sooner or later, Dean was sure.

 

So around two hours later, driving into the parking lot of a motel — not as run down as most of the others they had passed - Dean felt his stomach rumble, Sam rolling his eyes at him, complaining about Dean always being hungry. Dean didn't even bother denying the fact.

 

“Okay, one burger, then we hit the road again, right?” Sam asked, almost pleading and Dean raised his eyebrows, shaking his head slowly, eyes still locked with Sam’s.

 

“No, I thought we could stay here for the night, my back is killing me and I need a drink.”

 

 

That wasn’t a lie — no matter how much he loved his baby - the Impala - he couldn’t deny it was hell to drive her for more than a couple of hours.

 

Sam looked a bit panicked, but calmed down soon enough. Dean tried to read his face - unable to, Sam hid things well, even if he couldn't lie to him, Sam could still hide if he didn’t want to talk about something.

 

As Sam settled into the motel, Dean decided to take his beloved car to a market to find some beer. When he stood there, with the six-pack in his hand, he looked around to see if anyone was watching him..

 

Wait - that came out wrong - when it came to Dean Winchester, because really, everyone was watching him, weren't they? But Dean didn’t want to pick just anyone for this, he needed someone that would never say anything out loud.

 

His gaze stopped on a blondish boy, brown eyes and dimples, almost like Sammy’s. He looked like he was just out of high school and was staring right at him - Dean lighting up a seducing smile as he walked to stand in front of the guy.

 

“Hey”, he said, giving the boy his free hand, “I'm Dean”.

 

“Andrew.” The boy said, his voice deep and manly for a teenage boy.

 

Dean nodded and looked him up and down, trying to sense if he was the right target for this, then he looked up at Andrew’s face and realized that yes, he totally was. Andrew had a huge blush on his face and neck as they locked eyes again, Dean smirking flirtingly.

 

And with a thought - a prayer to be honest - the boy took a step forward and, leaning up slightly, kissed him — right there in the parking lot. Just lips on lips, no other touching — and damn, it was hot. Dean bit back a laugh, the dream had been true, God had given him a gift. He just wondered why.

 

When Andrew pulled back, Dean smiled at the stunned and confused look on his face. Yeah, he had frankly not planned this, had he? Dean gave him a nod before he turned and walked away, people wolf-whistling after him.

 

He just had to test this out on Sam. He couldn’t wait to get back to the motel.


	2. Chapter 2

Whilst Dean was out buying beer, Sam tried to relax. Okay - maybe not in the same way as Dean, but he had needs as well - so maybe he should just...

 

Sam sighed as he shook his head, he never knew when Dean was about to come back and he didn’t want to risk being caught again. Once before, Dean had walked in on him jerking off — much to Sam's embarassment - but Sam never let it happen again. It was just too weird - knowing your brother had caught you in the act of jacking off.

 

No, it was way too weird — but in Sam's sick mind.... kinda right too. Not right, right, but Dean hadn’t made such a big deal about it and Sam had cum just as he saw Dean - drenched with sweat from running half a mile, thinking it good to give his body a workout - and Sam had to agree - his brother looked damn hot.

 

It wasn’t the sight of Dean that had made Sam cum. Or well - he could at least keep pretending it wasn’t - to Dean. But Sam knew the truth and by knowing Dean, he knew it too, he just didn’t say anything about it. Sam booted up the laptop, just for something to do instead of the overanalyzing - but what he ended up looking at was just so not what he needed at the moment.

 

A gay porn movie he had saved in favourites, just because - well, because it was hot. Sam leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes, just listening to the sounds of the two men, making up his own images in his fantasy - of him and Dean.

 

Sam let his hand wander, pushing up his t-shirt, pinching a nipple with his index finger and thumb, the other palm doing a twist around his bellybutton, letting out a quiet moan. Then, slowly, he began to open his jeans - button by button - lifting off the chair a little to pull them past his hips. At that moment, his fantasy had planted a picture strongly in his head - one of him giving Dean a blow job - Dean’s strong hand’s in his hair, pulling, almost hurting. Just perfect.

 

Sam let out a shaky moan as he let his hand slide around his wet, pre-cum slick cock, the world shaking around him, so encased in his own pleasure he didn’t hear the slight hiss of air as the door opened and closed.

 

When Sam opened his eyes to find Dean staring at him with wide, unreadable eyes - Sam moaned loudly, throwing his head back as he came all over himself - some even landing on his chin. He hadn’t come that hard since the last time Dean had walked in on him.

 

Why did he do it, anyway? Couldn’t Dean sense that Sam had needs too? Climax soon fading, turning into anger instead as he pulled his jeans up, wiping his hand on them as he avoided Dean’s stare.

 

“That looked pretty intense, little brother. Who were you thinking about?” Dean asked and Sam was glad the porn movie had stopped a long time ago, hurriedly pushing the lid of the laptop down and giving his brother a long - hopefully hard - stare.

 

Sam made up his mind, he could never tell Dean the truth, his brother would hate him too much. He could lie, at least try and pray his brother wouldn’t notice. So Sam turned his head away from Dean and looked at the spot above his bed.

 

“Just some guy.” That was SO not what Sam had thought of saying, but it just came out and really - it wasn’t a lie.

 

Dean looked like he was enjoying this, and Sam blushed, looking away. Fucking shit, how could he just say that out loud? No matter what, he had always kept quiet about him being bisexual, he didn’t think his family would ever understand how he could feel like that, fall for a guy as well as a girl.

 

But Dean just gave a shrug of his shoulders and smirked, lookinng like he was pleased with the answer, which in turn gave Sam’s cock a painful twist. Oh no, he was so not getting hard again, not with his brother in the room. Dean - the straightest man on earth - would not enjoy this if he knew the real reason behind Sam’s jerking off.

 

“What about having a beer with me before we hit some bar?” Dean asked and Sam was, for once, glad of a beer.

 

“Sure.” He said, taking and swallowing the whole beer in one gulp.

 

 

 

 

XxXxXxXx

 

 

Dean knew what he had in mind - he had already found out his brother was bisexual - now he only had to know how many guys his brother had slept with/been in love with. This was fun — he'd gotten info he'd never gotten before - and that encouraged him to keep going with this.

 

But right now, he had to take it easy on Sam, so Sam didn't find out about it - whatever it was. Dean would tell him when time was right, but right now, he wanted to enjoy his new found power. No harm done, really. He was just playing fair, at least, that’s how he saw it.

 

It had been a bitch to try to get Sam to talk freely about everything that had happened at college - Sam’s feelings about Jessica, about her death - things Sam never mentioned.

 

Which was the mostly the reason why Dean wanted to keep quiet about the dream - the power - to get answers to questions he usually didn’t get. It wasn’t like he enjoyed chick flick moments, but sometimes, he wished for one.

 

At times when Sam would bitch all day, probably all wrapped up in that brain of his and making it hard to focus on anything else than the gnawing worry inside of Dean whenever Sam got to bitch for a entire-fucking-day.

 

So tonight they were gonna enjoy themselves, play pool and flirt with whoever they wanted. Dean was sure the powers were going to last at least a few more days, so he could try to find out more tomorrow - but tonight was about relaxation, being brothers and best friends.

 

“Jerk.” Sam said as he held the beer bottle in front of Dean.

 

“Bitch.” Dean said and clinked the bottles together and drank the last of his beer.

 

 

Life was great for once.


	3. Chapter 3

He had been right last night - Sam was at his worst when he was bitching - which he had started as soon as he'd opened his eyes, frowning at Dean and sighing - which had told Dean today was a bitchy day. Dean could handle it now though - with his powers - because he was going to let Sammy talk.

 

“Want breakfast?” Dean asked as he righted himself on the chair, having been awake for at least an hour.

 

“Whatever.” Sam said, turning around - bitching in whispers Dean wasn’t supposed to hear, but did.

 

“You got ten minutes, I’ll be outside.” Dean said and Sam turned around to face him, his face full of rage.

 

“You’re not my fucking dad, Dean!” Sam screamed and put the pillow over his head to let the sunshine and Dean’s voice slide past him.

 

Dean laughed and went outside to sit in the car - waited around ten minutes, till Sam was there beside him, slamming the car door closed. Dean just gave him a look, then started his baby up - driving them to the restaurant they had passed while getting here.

 

Okay, maybe Sam had a hangover, but Jesus Christ, could his brother be a bigger pain in the ass right now? Sam wasn’t talking, not sharing anything, not that Dean had tried to get him to be honest, not yet, but Sam was more or less swearing under his breath, calling Dean things he didn’t deserve, but Dean didn’t care much, not like he used to anyway.

 

“What do you want to eat, hun?”, a woman in her mid-twenties was asking and Dean looked up at her with tired eyes, but when he saw her his system snapped awake.

 

Usually, Dean wasn’t picky, but holy hell, if he was gonna marry someone someday - she would look exactly like her. She had brown hair, full kissable lips, big tits, but not excessive, just.. big. Firm waist, not too tall and Dean smiled flirtingly towards her, turned on his charm and played the game fairly free, for them both.. or well, Sam was there too, but he was more or less noticeable.

 

“Well, I'll take the double and he'll have salad.” Dean said and Sam gave him a kick under the table, bitching in silence about Dean picking his food.

 

“Anything else?” She asked, flirtingly, both she and Dean missed Sam’s swearing under his breath.

 

“Your time, in about....an hour?” Dean asked, looking up at her with his side of puppy dog eyes.

 

He knew he couldn’t do it as good as Sammy, but he could at least try, not that he had to, but it was fun to sometimes play innocent. But Sam’s innocence wasn’t a ploy, it was all real, alright. Dean shook his thoughts away, not wanting to think about Sam right now, wasn’t it enough that he was sat across from him?

 

She leaned in close and this time, Dean could clearly hear Sam’s annoyance about this, but he didn’t care, he was allowed to have fun too, wasn’t he? It wasn’t like Sam cared that Dean had sex, it wasn’t like he was jealous, Dean figured it as bitching, like he had been doing since the fucker woke up.

 

“Of course, big boy.” She whispered then stood straight again, blowing him a kiss and walking away.

 

Okay, he was gonna have a little fun before hitting the road with his damned little brother.

 

XxXxX

 

 

Okay, Sam had to admit he hated seeing his brother flirt, hated seeing him sneak behind the corner of the restaurant with the waitress. Maybe Sam should just open up and tell Dean just how much it bothered him, but then again, he couldn’t. Dean would push him away, hate him, call him crazy for wanting such a sick thing.

 

Dean hadn’t said anything about him catching Sam jerking off, nothing about realising his little brother wasbisexual. Nothing, which bothered Sam even more than the flirting and the fucking. Dean wasn’t like he had been before the hunt, maybe something had happened, something Sam couldn’t figure out.

 

So while he waited in the car for Dean to finish with the brunette, he decided on calling Bobby.

 

 

Bobby would know - Sam was sure of that - the old man always had ideas on where the problem lay and how to fix it.

 

 

“Bobby?” Sam asked as he heard a man answer the ringing phone.

 

“Right here, Sam. Sorry, but it’s the middle of the night over here.” Bobby said, his voice slurry but awake.

 

Sam looked at the clock and realized Bobby was right.

 

“Sorry man. Look, I’ll call you later.” Sam said and Bobby laughed.

 

“Boy, just tell me. I’m awake now and you're needing help, so spill.”

 

“Well, Dean’s weird. He’s so.. I don’t know.. happy and pleased with everything. I’m not saying that isn’t good news, but it’s worrying the shit outta me.” Sam said and Bobby laughed at the other end after letting the information sink in.

 

“Well, let us see it like this instead, Sam, Dean was totally lost without you when you were at college, he worried all the time that something would happen to you. When he finally got you back by his side, he was a wreck because he thought you’d push him away and go back to school. I believe he’s starting to realize you’re back to stay and that makes him happy, because you’re everything he has.” Bobby said, not letting any word pass by him, he had to open his damn mouth sometimes, so the boy would listen.

 

Bobby knew exactly how Sam could be in a situation like this, when he thought Dean was either possessed or had a spell over him, Sam was typically not listening to the words that was said, Bobby could just hope he was listening now, because his words had been true.

 

Dean wasn’t a talker, he practically hated speaking about feelings, but sometimes, mostly when he was injured or drunk, he could say a lot of things, things he wouldn’t remember the next morning, but Bobby would and laid it to his memory, because every time the boy opened his mouth about feelings, it was something big and dark he was carrying around ,all by himself. About this too, he was so fucking scared that Sam would leave again and he’d be all alone.

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Sam said after a long time. “Thanks, man.” Sam said, saying goodbye as he saw Dean and the girl kiss goodbye and Dean headed back to the car.

 

“Hi there, been waiting long?” Dean asked, looking like he was about to start laughing out loud.

 

“Yeah, can we please go now, or are you gonna marry the whore?” Sam said, widening his eye - that wasn’t what he meant to say.

 

Dean raised his eyebrows, looking at Sam, before turning to the road, starting his car with a frown. It wasn’t on his demand Sam had been this honest, it had just came out which got Dean a little nervous — like he did when he sensed a chick flick moment.

 

But Sam turned away from him completely, which had Dean thinking, maybe it would be better with a chick flick moment right now. Okay, he had to start one, wanted Sammy to open up, lighten the mood a bit, it was needed.

 

“What crept up your ass and died?” Dean asked and thought the magic words.

 

Sam turned towards his brother, annoyed as a teenager in too long limbs, he opened his mouth to say something smart, something only he could come up with when he was in this kind of mood.

 

“Your dick!” Sam yelled, eyes getting wide and turned around to face the road, face red with embarrassment, that was so not a smart remark.

 

“What?!” Dean asked before he started to laugh, loudly as he saw Sam’s face became more and more red from embarrassment and shame.

 

Sam kept quiet the whole day, not saying a word, but even if Dean let the sound of

 

Metallica fill the car, he knew his little brother was not asleep. It was getting late - they had been driving for eight hours, only stopping for a snack and a few calls of nature — so Dean found them a motel.

 

He went to book them in two queens, but there was only one king room left and Dean thought it over, then headed out to the car, told Sam to get out and took their bags from the trunk. They entered the room, Sam stopped in the doorway, his face becoming more and more red and before Dean asked anything, Sam headed into the bathroom.

 

Okay, they were sharing a bed for the night, nothing new, right? Well, they hadn’t done it since they were kids, he was a bit uncomfortable with the fact. Plus, his feelings for Dean would make it difficult, very difficult. Sam sighed, he had to calm down before Dean started guessing things.

 

After the shower, he dressed in his tee-shirt and briefs, he didn’t plan on going out tonight, if Dean wanted to, then okay, feel free, but Sam was so not going with him.


	4. The end

Sam was the one being psychic - not him, still Dean remained powerful with what he had. He wasn’t gonna use it too much, knowing Sam would figure him out sooner or later if he did, but he had plans - big ones - to get Sammy to talk.

 

While Sam was in the shower, Dean made the bed. The bed wasn't always made when they decided to check in, so in times like these, they had to make their own bed, with clean sheets. Well, as clean as it could be. When Sam came out of the bathroom, Dean tried hard not to look at him too much.

 

Sam was looking at him funny, like he had something on his mind, but was keeping it inside. Dean decided now wasn’t the time, even if Sam looked like a moron, standing there in the middle of the room, staring at him with a flash in his eyes, a flash Dean didn’t recognize.

 

“What are you doing? I’m so not sleeping in there with you.” Sam said, crossing his arms over his chest, looking like a stubborn five years old.

 

“Whatever, it’s not like it’s the first time.” Dean answered and Sam gave him a huff and he was done bitching.

 

He sat down in the rocking chair with a book, probably a hard ass to read, not like Dean was stupid or anything, but his brother was the smart ass here, too smart sometimes. Dean just shrugged his shoulders and kept on making the bed.

 

After awhile, Dean turned on the television, just to flip through the channels, bored out of his mind. Okay, maybe it was time, Sam looked so deep in his hard ass book so Dean decided it would be good to take a break. Just having a conversation, nothing else.

 

“Why are you such a bitch, Sammy? It’s been going on all day.” Dean said, then thought the words that was necessary for Sam to open up.

 

“Well, maybe it’s because I don’t like it when you’re acting like dad.” Sam said and nearly dropped the book on the floor.

 

Perfect, it was still worki.. Wait, was what that? Sam thought Dean acted like dad, really? Dean sat as stunned as Sammy, looking at each other with unbelievable eyes, neither able to form another word. After a moment of just staring at each other, the anger of Sam’s words welled up inside of Dean.

 

“How do I act like dad?” he asked and Sam shook his head, went back to his book and Dean took control again, over Sam’s mouth.

 

It wasn’t like he hated his dad or anything like that, he just couldn’t understand how Sam could say such a thing. Their dad had been dead for two years now and Dean honoured his memory, but being like his dad? Nah, he was so not.

 

“Well, for one thing, by the way you wake me up. The other, by the way you treat me.. like I’m not even in the room.” Sam said and Dean was confused for real now, when did he act like that?

 

“Huh?” Dean asked, the word coming out slowly, like he didn’t understand Sam at all, because really, right now he didn’t.

 

Sam looked like he was about to run away, he looked so freaked out that Dean almost felt sorry for him. Sam started shaking his head from side to side, then the tears came and now Dean had to act fast, otherwise his baby brother was about to start crying, which was the worst Dean could think of.

 

He had always hated Sam crying, even as a baby, Sam would start to cry and Dean would be there for him, do whatever his brother wanted, just so the baby would shut up and stop crying. It wasn’t that it was embarrassing, it was just.. Sam crying, no thanks.

 

Emotions rised in Dean quickly as Sam got up from the chair, threw the book on the floor and was on the way to go out of their room, just with his briefs and tee-shirt, so not like Sammy. But of course, Sam was scared right now, maybe even worse and Dean had to think quickly.

 

“Hey, calm down.” Dean said in a low, comforting voice as he got up from the bed, hurried to push Sam to the wall, pressing him there to stop him from walking out like that.

 

“Dean, I’m.. I’m so so sorry..” And that’s when the real attack of tears came up to the surface.

 

The real break down and Dean figured it wasn’t only about this, the true words, it was something else too, something much deeper that Sam was apologizing for. Dean wiped away the tears from Sammy’s cheeks with his thumb, let his hands slowly fall down from Sam’s face to his hips, keeping him in place, the kid was still struggling to get free, damn it.

 

“Nothing to be sorry about. I kinda enjoy when you’re being honest.” Dean said and Sam just looked at him through tears, like he didn’t believe him and Dean understood. “It was a long time ago we were having a real conversation, Sammy.” Sam frowned at the nickname which got Dean to laugh.

 

“So..” Poor kid sounded broken. “So you want me to be honest? True by heart honest?” Sam asked and this time Dean hadn’t used the thoughts to let Sam open up, this was all Sam himself and Dean nodded, still determined he wanted this, wanted his brother to talk.

 

XxXxX

 

 

Okay, this was so not like Dean, Sam had to admit it freaked him out. But if you wanted an explanation to why he was crying, you should take a closer look at where and how they were standing, it was obvious this kind of position got Sam to react and not in a good way, his brother was about to find out his most hidden secret if he didn’t move soon.

 

“Course I want Sam. Just tell me what you’re thinking.” Dean said and Sam couldn’t believe him.

 

How could he believe his brother wanted to have the most forbidden thing in Dean’s own fucking law life? A chick flick moment, that’s what his brother called this kind of thing, wasn’t that true? Sam sighed and shook his head, he could be honest with himself, but honest with Dean?

 

He didn’t want to lose his brother, didn’t want his brother to hate him and tell him to go, just like dad had done. Dean didn’t know the whole truth about Sam leaving, but he knew the most important, and that was Sam was back, for real. At least Sam hopped Dean knew it. Oh fuck.

 

“Okay, I’ll be honest. I’m about to stay here Dean, no matter what. I can’t leave now when I’m finally back and I won’t let anyone force me away from you. Whatever happens, Dean, I’m gonna stay, you can’t play with my mind and think you can overpower me to go. I’m here, with you, with us and I’m not going anywhere.” Sam said, saw his brother’s stare change to something soft, something.. teenager Dean would look like after killing some sonovabitch.

 

Dean circled on Sam’s tee-shirt, right below his chest, which got Sam to take even another step closer to the wall, if that was even possible, but he put some space between them so that Dean wouldn’t hit him or something if or well.. WHEN he found out. Dean seemed not to notice the step back and the half-hard cock standing like a prize between them.

 

“And I’m not stopping you.” Dean whispered and that got Sam’s cock to take the final shot of blood to get him rock hard and shivering.

 

“Can I go to the bathroom? Need to take a piss.” Sam said and Dean, oh god no, looked down and noticed what Sam was desperate to hide from him, now and for years.

 

“Uhm..” Dean said, like he didn’t understand the tent in Sam’s briefs, then he looked up at him and nodded. “Sure.” He said and took a step back, letting Sam pass, saying nothing more.

 

 

XxXxX

 

 

The hard on his brother had had must be because of the energy between them while arguing, or whatever they had been doing. Well, Dean had no idea what to think about it, and sure as hell it wasn’t about him, the erection wasn’t a reaction to him, right? It would only be weird if it was, not that Sam liked him, not that he was turned on by him, but because of them being brothers and may be feeling the same for each other.

 

Wasn’t it enough that Dean had wanted his brother like crazy, had wanted him for years? He hadn’t accepted the fact yet, maybe because Sam didn’t give him the chance by always talking about leaving once it’s done, once dad’s found, well, he was found, sold his soul and went to hell. Sam said after Jess's death he was gonna go back to school once he had found the bastard that did it.

 

But now, maybe Dean had time to come to terms with it, even if his brother didn’t want the same thing, at least Dean had a right to accept his feelings, right? It didn’t mean he was gonna act on them.. wait, what got him to think about this now so suddenly.. right, Sammy’s hard on. It couldn’t be about him, Dean would’ve noticed.

 

“Sam? You done yet?” Dean asked after half an hour and Sam walked out of there, with sweat dropping from his body, but the erection had been taken care of, Dean could tell by the smell.

 

“So, who’s sleeping the first hours?” Sam asked as he went to stand beside the bed, looking at it like it was the cause of all his pain.

 

“What do you mean? We’ll sleep together, at the same hours, till we wake up. No big deal.” Dean said, sounding almost hurt by his own ears and Sam looked towards Dean and he melted, it seemed.

 

“Whatever.” Sam said, like he agreed with the ‘no big deal’ part, but Dean knew better.

 

They laid there, both awake, just looking at each other. Dean desperately wanted to say something, but couldn't find the right words - he wanted his little brother to feel safe with him in the same bed, but probably Sam was freaked out by sharing a bed with him. So Dean let Sam be honest for the third time today, by thinking the words to open Sam up for him.

 

“I can’t betray dad, no matter what. He’s like a ghost, Dean, hunts me down by thoughts. I’m scared he’ll let something take me if I break the promise to him.” Sam said, his voice sounded so scared, like he was truly scared.

 

Dean didn’t understand this either - what had their dad done to Sam that he didn’t know about? Something real was bothering Sam here and Dean was the one to freak out this time. He knew their dad hadn’t been a perfect man, but hurting Sam? NO!!

 

“What do you mean, Sammy? Did he ever hurt you?” Dean asked, his voice just as scared as Sam’s in the night around them.

 

“I don’t know what this is about, Dean, but I say things I hadn’t planned on saying. And I don't like it at all!” Sam said, as calm as he could be about this and Dean sighed, he didn’t want to tell Sam just yet.

 

“Maybe it’s time for you to be honest, real honest, you know. Like I said before, it’s been years since we had a real conversation and that’s maybe taking it's toll on you.” Dean said and Sam nodded slowly, letting his brothers words sink in.

 

Dean could almost hear Sam's thoughts, probably most about how much he didn’t want to talk wholeheartedly honest, how he was scared Dean would freak out. Dean sighed and faced Sam even more, seeing his eyes in the dark, smiling, telling Sam by his face it was okay to let the thoughts go and just talk. And Sammy did.

 

“Yeah, he hurt me, Dean. But not in the way you think.” Sam said, feeling weird he was talking about this, this was so not what he wanted to talk about, ever, he didn’t want Dean to find out about this side of their father, about him as well.

 

“What did he do to you?” Dean asks, voice becoming angry, almost pissed and Sam did not want that reaction from Dean right now.

 

“Nothing, Dean. He just made me promise a few things, things that hurt badly, even so many years afterwards.” Sam said, letting his eyes fall closed, this was gonna be hard, maybe he could relax a little by not looking at Dean.

 

Dean looked at his little brother, yeah, he could see, had seen since the night he had walked inside of Sam’s apartment, well, Sam and Jessica’s apartment, that something dark and secret was bothering Sam each time Dean started to talk about dad and the way Sam had reacted on dad being back, only for a few weeks, still the boy had looked like he was back in teenager’s behaviours towards their dad.

 

“What did you promise? Please tell me, Sammy.” Dean said and Sam gave a sigh in response, but after a few minutes, he opened his mouth, then closed it again.

 

“Like.. never to act on my feelings when it comes to men. Well, one special one. Not that I had ever thought of doing it, but he made me promise and I’ll never break that promise, because I can’t.” Sam said, sounding close to tears and Dean shifted closer to him.

 

“Who was this guy, Sammy? Was he one of your friends back in high school?” Dean asked, holding his breath, wanting to know if this was about him or not.

 

“Hmm? No, not exactly..” Sam whispered, and Dean raised his eyebrows.

 

 

“He made me go, too. The same day I made the promise to him.” Sam whispered and Dean had trouble hearing him, but the words were clear to him and he let out the breath he had been holding slowly through his nose.

 

“Dad was the one. Why didn’t you just tell me, Sammy?” Dean asked and Sam opened his eyes and Dean had been right, his eyes were covered in thick tears that weren't allowed to escape..

 

“Because you weren’t supposed to know. I’m so sorry, Dean, so sorry.” Sam said and through his damned thoughts, the tears spilled over and he was sobbing too high and he was ashamed about it.

 

Dean leaned in close, almost hovering above his brother, they locked eyes, Sam looked so freaked out and Dean took hold of Sam’s beautiful face with both hands, holding him still, then he lowered his head to lick away the tears on Sam’s cheeks.

 

“Sshh, whatever he said, it’s not right. This, Sammy, this is right.” He whispered, licking and kissing his way over Sam’s face, down to his jaw.

 

When Dean felt that Sam was about to break into new tears and maybe push him away, Dean took the final step to make things undone and let his lips touch his brother’s in a tender, gentle kiss. Dean let his eyes close and got dizzy pretty fast.

 

When he broke the kiss, Sam was about to break free and Dean leaned back in, taking his mouth as his, kissing him forcefully, holding Sam’s face with his hands, feeling Sam shake his head from side to side, but Dean was so not letting go, not now, not ever.

 

“Relax and enjoy yourself.” Dean whispered, his voice thick and Sam was still shaking his head, tears still rolling down his cheeks, but he did what Dean told him, he relaxed, if only for a bit, but he did.

 

XxXxX

 

 

Sam couldn’t believe this was happening. For one - he was breaking his promise to dad. For two - he never thought he would’ve had the chance of doing this. Well, Dean was doing it, Sam was just laying there, trying to figure out what was really happening. Dean’s lips claimed his, Dean’s body almost on top of his, their erections laying beside each other.

 

And Sam was only laying there, trying to figure out if Dean really wanted this, or if he did it just because Sam wanted it so badly? What if Dean gave this to him and regretted it later? Sam couldn’t bear that, couldn’t stand the fact that Dean would push him away later.

 

“Please stop.” Sam sobbed between kisses and Dean looked down at him, his eyes blown dark with lust and love, and Sam shivered at the look Dean was giving him.

 

“You shouldn’t have listened to him, Sam. He was wrong, this is us, meant to be. Don’t let him take this away from us.” Dean said and Sam shook his head, then nodded, then shook it again.

 

“You’re not.. Do you really want this, Dean?” Sam asked and Dean laughed darkly, but soft.

 

“Of course, otherwise I wouldn’t be kissing you.” Dean said and kissed Sam again to prove a point.

 

Sam nodded and gave into the touch, the promise still lurking deep in his head, holding him back a little, but he put his hands around Dean’s shoulders, pulling him down, their lips meeting again and Sam opened up to him this time, their tongues playing for the first time and Sam let out a moan.

 

Dean let his left hand slowly run down Sam’s cheek, to his neck, down his side, settling on his brother’s perfect hip, Sam aching up to rub himself against Dean, seeking friction and Dean giving it to him, full force, not waiting one minute, still keeping their tongues together in a dance only they knew.

 

Sam still couldn’t believe this was happening, this was only a dream, right? So it was okay, wasn’t it? They started rubbing against each other through their briefs, but it wasn’t enough and Dean broke the kiss, only by planting one extra to Sam’s cheek, letting his tongue slide out just for a second, tasting Sam and sweat.

 

Then Dean pushed at Sam’s tee-shirt and Sam got the hint. He sat up and let Dean undress him. Dean was staring once the tee-shirt was off, Sam blushing and having second thoughts, maybe dad had been right, maybe Dean was doing this just to pleasure Sam, to make him happy, not because he wanted it for himself too.

 

But once Dean leaned down and sucked Sam’s left nipple into his mouth, the thoughts flew out the window, only a tiny bit of worry still lurking around. Oh fuck yeah, it was totally mind-blowing to have Dean like this and Sam was gonna take all he could, just let go once it was over. He let out a moan as he felt Dean’s hot, wet tongue ghost over his nipple, making it hard.

 

Dean looked up at him, his nipple still inside his hot mouth and Sam’s eyes rolled back into his head. His hands landed on Dean’s shoulders, not knowing what he wanted, either push him away or pull him down. Dean took the control into his own hands and gave one last suck and swing of his tongue over Sam’s nipple before he let go.

 

And despite himself, Sam let out a disappointed whine only to scream in ecstasy when Dean pulled Sam’s briefs off in one fluid movement - Sam was now naked and exposed - Dean could take whatever he wanted and Sam couldn’t.. didn’t want to stop him.

 

Sam watched as Dean leaned closer and closer to his cock, finally getting there, giving it a long lick from the root to the shaft, holding eye contact with Sam all the time. Sam sucked his lower lip into his mouth and bit down, still letting a loud moan pass. Dean smirked, did it again, licked the cleft, then took Sam all the way down his throat and Sam couldn’t stop himself, started fucking Dean’s hot, wet, perfect mouth, hard.

 

Dean laid a hand on Sam’s stomach to calm him down, to push him into the sheets, to still him and succeeded with a whimper from Sam, sounding like an apology and Dean smiled around Sam’s cock, making Sam moan loudly in the process.

 

“Oh god Dean, feels so good.” Sam said as he felt Dean’s other hand roll his balls as his head bobbed up and down, sucking, licking, swallowing Sam’s cock.

 

Dean was no novice, he knew what he was doing, Sam could feel that by the lick of tongue, the fingers working his balls tight, making Sam shiver all over and he was soon there, tried to pull Dean off him, but Dean just held on tighter, sucking harder, licking more and Sam shot down his brother’s throat and nothing had felt this right before.

 

When every drop was swallowed, no more cum to drink, Dean let go of Sam’s still hard cock and lifted to sit on his knees between Sam’s legs, pushing his own briefs off and jerked himself quickly, letting Sam watch him as his cum landed on Sam’s stomach.

 

Sam was surprised when Dean licked up his own semen from Sam’s stomach instead of just taking the sheet and wiping him off. Dean let out a moan which got Sam’s cock to give a leap, but he was too tired, too satisfied to get hard again and Dean laid down beside him.

 

“Come here.” he said and Sam did as he was told and kissed Dean’s lips, knowing he couldn’t be happier than he was right now.

 

And they fell asleep with Sam’s head on Dean’s chest, holding each other in a way only lovers did. And that’s what they were now, not only brothers, but lovers as well and they were happy about finally getting what they both wanted for years.

 

 

XxXxX

 

 

Maybe this was a bad idea, but Dean had tried to make Sam honest all day, but there was nothing. He had even tried with others, but still nothing, so he had to tell Sam about it all, tell Sam how this all begun. They had been kissing and hugging all day, keeping close, like the new found lovers they were and it just felt amazing, but Dean had to tell Sam the truth.

 

“What about checking in early?” Dean asked and Sam looked at him with a blush, obviously thinking something else about that.

 

“Sure.” Sam said with a blush and looked away from him, smiling from ear to ear.

 

Dean was planning on doing all the things Sam wanted him to do, but at the moment, he just needed to talk with his baby brother, tell him and wish that he wouldn’t be angry and break this, whatever this was, off. Dean took a room with two queens, just in case Sam changed his mind about them after his confession. Dean could see the hurt look in Sam’s eyes, even if Sam avoided looking at him when they entered their room.

 

“Sam, we need to talk.” Dean said and Sam looked at him with true fear in his eyes.

 

“I know it.. Please Dean, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean.. dad was righ..” Dean cut him off by closing the door and pushing Sam against it, pinning him between it and himself.

 

“Sammy listen to me, this isn’t about dad, how many times do I need to tell you this, I want this as much as you do.. I just.. I had a dream a few nights ago.” Dean said and Sam looked confused.

 

“What dream?” Sam wondered and Dean let go of him and sat down on one of the beds, with his head in his hands. This was harder than he thought it’d be.

 

“I don’t really remember it, I only remember waking up with one special power. And I have been using it freely, maybe you may think I’m selfish, but I needed you to talk to me, Sammy.” Dean said and Sam sat down on the floor by Dean’s bed, looking up at him with trust and love in his eyes.

 

“What kind of power?” He asked and Dean looked down at him , taking Sam’s head in his hands, smiling shamefully.

 

“I could get people to open up, to be honest about things they usually didn’t want. That’s why you’ve been sharing a few things with me that got you all freaked out because you didn’t want or plan on telling them.” Dean said and could see Sam let the information sink in, then he raised to stand, shaking his head, looked totally mad.

 

“Oh no, you did not! I can’t believe this!” Sam said, laughing, bending over, holding his stomach, laughing harder and harder and got Dean fucking confused.

 

“Uhm.. yeah?” Dean said, smiling a little too, not knowing what Sam’s laughing was about.

 

Sam stopped laughing after awhile and pushed Dean down on the bed, letting a prayer wander in his mind before his lips methis brother, tongues playing together, praying dad would ever forgive him for breaking the promise.

 

“You’re crazy, Dean. You know that, right?” Sam asked after a moment of kissing.

 

“Sorry, Sammy.” But really, he wasn’t.

 

“It’s Sam.” Sam said, frowning and Dean just laughed.

 

“I’ve been calling you Sammy for weeks now and you haven’t been bitching about it ever since, so don’t start now, babe.” Dean said, kissing his brother’s nose.

 

Sam realizes Dean’s right, he has been calling him Sammy forever now and he hasn’t been bitching about it. Okay, it was okay if Dean said it, but nobody else would ever get to call him Sammy. Ever. And then Sam’s mind catches up too. Dean called him babe!

 

“Jerk.” Sam said, resting his head on Dean’s chest.

 

“Bitch.” Dean replied, carding through Sam’s hair with his fingers.

 

They were both feeling like they had finally hit home, once and for all.


End file.
